EMPOWER YOURSELF: STOP SEEKING VALIDATION FROM MEN
Ladies let’s break free from this endless cycle of seeking validation from men. Let me be brutally honest with you, YOU WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED with external validation.
I used to be that girl, waking up every morning, meticulously dressing up and applying makeup, all hoping to receive compliments and external attention when I stepped out. The routine of seeking validation became a habit, with my friends and sharing stories of compliments, DMs, and phone numbers. Girls don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dressing up and applying makeup for yourself but when it is intentionally and strictly for validation, let’s be real you are insecure.
One day, I realized that chasing external validation was never enough. It’s a daily grind, starting over and seeking validation day after day after day. Isn’t that exhausting? The notion of needing approval from people who don’t even know you, and from men who may not even be the prize themselves?
Here are 5 valid reasons and inner work exercises on why you should not give a damn about external validation:
- 1. External validation will never be enough.
You will never find true satisfaction by seeking validation externally, I promise you—I’ve been there, and it’s never enough. Look within; validate yourself because you know yourself better than anybody. You and God are the only ones who truly know you, so why concern yourself with being called pretty by men who may not even be all that?
- 2. Understand the definition of validation
Look up the word “validation” in the dictionary, and you’ll find it means proving that something or someone is true, factual, or acceptable. Now, think about this: why seek approval from strangers, people who know nothing about your truth or acceptability? Sounds a bit crazy, doesn’t it? You are the only one who truly knows yourself from the inside, you know your intentions and what you wish upon others and yourself; they can only see the external you, and that doesn’t even reveal half of the real you.
- 3. Consider why to seek approval from others
Take a moment to understand why you often seek approval from others. It might be about wanting to feel accepted, on the right path, or desiring love and a sense of security. Ask yourself: Why do I seek validation from men, friends, or family members? How does their approval make me feel? Consider if it’s possible to provide that type of validation to yourself. You’ll discover that it’s entirely possible to validate yourself. Write down all the reasons you seek validation and how it affects you. Be honest and gentle with yourself in this process. Once you acknowledge and appreciate your worth, the need for validation from others disappears.
- 4. Validate yourself
Now that you grasp the idea of validation and have engaged in the inner work exercise, it’s clear that the most crucial validation comes from yourself, not from your mother, friend, or father. Why? Because you are unique, and there’s no mistake in how you were created. You alone understand all the experiences you’ve been through, your inner feelings, and your wishes for others. This self-awareness is sufficient to recognize and embrace self-acceptance. Be kind to yourself, practice forgiveness, and learn how to overcome feelings of guilt and shame. For more insights on this topic, check out my other blog which delves deeper into these emotions.
Once you grasp the idea of validating yourself, you realize it extends beyond seeking approval. This understanding applies to various aspects of your life, such as seeking love from others or letting external opinions set your worth. I delve into these topics to support your self-concept and healing journey. Join me for more insights and guidance. Let’s navigate this journey together, babe.<3
